Being a single mom can be difficult in different ways since now you are responsible for not only your own life but also your children’s. So it is quite normal to feel overwhelmed and stressed now and then. These concerns can be related to various aspects of life, but are most frequently related to financial stability and emotional control. A lot of single moms worry about making ends meet and even saving some for the future, facing any unexpected problems. Others might feel depressed, upset, and frustrated due to their new lifestyle, loneliness, and a huge amount of responsibilities. No matter how you are feeling now, you should focus on finding solutions and adapting to the current situation. That is exactly why we decided to share some top tips with you which can help you take practical actions instead of being worried and passive all the time.
Tip 1: Create a simple yet inclusive budget
As a single mom, if you are constantly worrying about expenses, the best possible way is to plan. For starters, make a precise list of things you need to buy, bills you have to pay, and every single expense that is essential. Have your expenses analyzed and dedicate a specific amount of money for each situation. Remember that you do not have to buy unnecessary items; only plan for what is needed. Afterwards, if there aren’t any expenses left, save some for the future. I believe budgeting is not only about monthly expenses, but also about deciding which house to rent, which loan to take, and any other financial decisions that might be important in the coming years. A single mom does not need to rent a huge house if only one room is enough.
Choose wisely and base your decisions on your actual needs. The good news is that if you ever struggle with budgeting, there exist several financial management applications that can save your life. These apps are capable of designing a budget based on your living standards, number of family members, periodic expenses, and your spending behaviour. Some of these apps also help you reach your future financial goals by eliminating unnecessary costs.
Tip 2: Surround yourself with positive people
The change in your lifestyle and the new responsibilities you have to handle can easily make you feel overwhelmed. What makes this situation worse is the constant negative comments and impossible solutions you might hear from the people around you. These thoughts such as “you need to marry someone”, “how can you make ends meet”, “you will age alone”, and so on, not only do help but also threaten your mental health. However, you need to be aware of this impact and try to spend time with more positive people.
Try to interact with independent single moms who have already passed the struggles you are faced with. These people can inspire you to keep trying and change the stereotypical picture of a sad and lonely single mom in your mind. If you get a chance to communicate with these amazing moms, sure enough, they have a lot of valuable thoughts to share and make you less concerned. If you can’t find any single moms around, at least, try to spend more time with optimistic people and do not let others’ negative thoughts affect your life.
Tip 3: Make yourself a priority
Single parents, thinking that they must make ends meet, feel the need to sacrifice their own lives and only focus on their children. When it comes to single moms, it is even more frequent since they feel like they have to try harder to compensate for the absence of fathers. However, what you need to realize is that only a happy and healthy parent (both physically and mentally) can raise a happy and successful child. That is why you must make yourself a priority and pay enough attention to your needs just like your kids.
Attend your favourite classes, hit the gym, see some friends, travel to places you like, buy some good clothes, and do any other activity that you find enjoyable. Even when it comes to budgeting and financial plans, dedicate some money to your personal needs and the activities you would like to get involved with. Some parents say they feel guilty after prioritizing their own needs and spending some money on what they want. To those who might feel this way, remind yourself that you and your kids have the same desires and rights in this life, and your children will feel happier and healthier living with a mom who takes care of herself well.
Tip 4: Learn to ask for help
Do you ever blame yourself for not being able to do an activity you have never done or known about? Absolutely not! None of us will ever blame ourselves for not being able to do something new. We all know that in order to master a new skill, we need to educate ourselves, get enough information, and practice. This is also true about being a single mom. You should not expect yourself to be your best at first and without any help. Just like learning anything new, search for content that can help you improve your parenting skill such as books and podcasts.
Moreover, it is a great idea to visit a psychologist, describe your situation and get some advice. You shouldn’t feel bad for getting help. Finally, as it is not possible to learn something well just over a night, to be a happy single mom, you have to give yourself some time. Trust the process and keep trying.
Being a single mom, facing new responsibilities, and worrying about different aspects of life are indeed difficult. However, you can manage a lot of these problems by simple planning actions. You can decrease the amount of emotional pressure by enriching your surroundings and investing in yourself. In other words, no matter how difficult this situation seems in the beginning, if you keep trying and stay positive, you will definitely succeed.